Now what do I do with all this Challenge?

I'm somewhat of a serial mooch.

I would analogize to the trade of murdering several people for kicks, but a funny man once said that if you have to explain how two things differ, then they cannot be said to be like each other.  I have a problem in that I keep thinking sitcoms offer good advice instead of just my kind of humor (cheap, easy, yourmom-esque).

I have decided that maybe my friends resent my inability to remember to bring snacks, money, or drinks and will start hating me secretly, inside.  So I'm making cookies.  Because who could possibly be allergic to salt, sugar, gluten, or "natural flavors"?

Of course, I kept on procrastinating going shopping until the very last day, and I didn't give myself enough time to run errands, so the places with good butter closed and I am left with Challenge brand butter, the butter of my youth (before my mother discovered that Supermarkets Are Bad).  I seem to remember bad times the last time I tried using Challenge, but that shit is already in the oven.  I get to try them in like 25 minutes, and then decide if the endeavor is worth continuing or if I should just swing by the bakery and get real shortbread from competent people.

Plan B is so you remember to feel ashamed about your failings under plan A. But it's also so no one knows how big your fail is, since by all accounts, you succeeded.  Gotta keep your fires under control.