For those not in on it, the joke is that I'm not actually polite or tactful. Ah yes, mirth.
Anyway, now that I've acknowledged the peanut gallery, we can get on with our tale. I'm sick and still in the first few days of learning to sleep properly when someone else is in the damn bed, so I am so cranky. 10^27 cranky. I must have left my patience with people in my other pants.
For example, one of my work buddies was like "what are you doing with that one test box?"
me: "Touch it and die."